Here come the Chinese.
They probably invented face-paint.
The World Cup welcomes China for the first time.
Finally they made it! They have more people than any other country
watching the game, their government has poured the big money in,
but in their six previous attempts they never quite got this far.
They should thank coach Bora Milutinovic. China usually almost
qualifies, but then loses it. So they appoint a strange, friendly,
Yugoslavian World Cup specialist who has coached Mexico, Costa
Rica, the USA and Nigeria in World Cups. He knows what it takes!
He has brought China on a bit. They reached the
semi-finals of the Asian Cup last year, where Jiang Jin emerged
as an outstanding goalie. Then China sailed through the first
part of the qualifiers for this by winning every game. The coach
is a massive optimist but the fans are a critical bunch. They
expect great things of the team, and when China palayed badly
against the Maldives & Cambodia, they were just brutal, chanting
horrificly at the players. And you thought the English were a
bunch of hooligans!
Milutinovic is acoach that knows how to change things
around mid-term though, so switched things around enough to sufficiently
turn things around. They qualified comfortably, and a few players
stood out. Li Xiaopeng, Hao Haidong and Yang Chen are the players
that shone the most over the last year. They are still a bit wobbly,
but they are here now so let's have a look at them! Shame they
are not in Busan because it could have been an even more interestnig
month around here. Still we're not doing too badly, we do have
France, Uruguay, Poland, South Africa and Paraguay showing up...
England
Beckham in City Hall Subway,
Seoul, and an ajasi walking by.
Owen celebrates one of
his many goals away to Germany last September.
England v Paraguay recently.
Business as usual for England. They are approaching
the World Cup with ridiculously high expectations and a press
that gets better and better at turning up the presure on the team
and manager. But the team is clicking a bit these days, so this
time they shouldn't end up too embarrassed. Although what a tough
group they have!
They have players to boast of right now. Clearly
David Beckham and Michael Owen are good enough for any team, world-class,
and Steven Gerrard too, is getting there. Owen is made of goals
and is able to score them against anybody. He's 22, which means
at the last World Cup he must have been about 8 - remarkable isn't
he! You can recall goal after crucial goal that he has scored,
so even though England face Sweden, Nigeria and Argentina, they
face him.
A couple of years ago though and England were hopeless.
Their coach resigned and qualification was almost written off.
Things have turned around and thanks to coach Sven-Goran Eriksson,
who seems to have cleaned up the mess. Actually he is already
immortal, if just for leading England to that 5-1 victory over
Germany in Munich last September.
But it looks like the English won't win the World
Cup, again. They're a nice side and they really care about how
they do in every game but they have a weak link or two. First
is the injuries to key players, first David Beckham, now Gary
Neville breaking their toes. Next is the defence. The goalie,
Seaman, is about 90 years old, and central defence is an issue
too. Sol Campbell is a big, stale hulk in there that seems to
have his name on the shirt already, but he needs to click with
Rio "Rolls Royce" Ferdinand if they are to stop the
lethal strikers in the Group of Death they face. Then there is
"Little" Paul Scholes, who is clearly a top drawer match-winner,
yet in the last qualifier against Greece played poorly. Anyway
he said sorry after so that's all right.
The perennial left-sided midfield problem has yet
to be solved too. Who's going to play there? At least it seems
clear it won't be Steve "I'd rather be at the hairdressers
back home in Madrid, Real Madrid" MacManaman. Sven has told
him so. Poor Steve, he'll have to make do with the European Cup
Final this year.
France
Patrick Vieira of France
- the best player in the PREM.
Let's get this thing back
off 'em!
France's last game of any importance was the Euro 2000 Final
where they sneaked it past Italy at the death to equalize, and
then twisted the knife against the shell-shocked Italians to
score again in extra-time. Since then they have had mixed results
in friendlies: wins against Germany, Japan and Portugal; a defeat
in Chile and a draw in Australia. A hard team to gage is France.
They are obviously pure quality, yet these days coach Roger
Lemerre just focuses on who he will play as substitute in Japan
and South Korea.
The main first-team question is who will replace Laurent Blanc
alongside Marcel Desailly in defence. The classy act on the
right hand side that is Lilian Thuram wants to do the job but
is perhaps a bit too valuable where he is, leaving a vacancy.
Who will get it? Surely not Frank Leboeuf? He's so undeserving,
yet has ben flukey enough in his career to play in a World Cup
winning team so could be! If it was me I'd go for Pascal Cygan
of Lille, who stood up well in this year's Champions League.
Mickael Silvestre and Barcelona's Philippe Christanval are likelier
candidates, with Thuram and Lizarazu staying put at full-back.
Eric Carriere seems to have sneaked into the squad now, and
has shown enough quality in Le Championnat over the past 18
months to warrant that. Fabien Barthez has shown little quality
at Manchester Utd this season, yet will keep the jersey. Why?
He's a star and maybe a lucky charm, although certainly cost
Manchester Utd the Permiership this season with a string of
high profile, costly errors.
Nicolas Anelka is the intriguing one. He has played badly for
PSG and Liverpool this season, yet in there somewhere is a world
class striker. Of course though, he has to deliver, and that
is precisly what Auxerre's Djibril Cisse and Lyon's Sidney Govou
are all about. Anelka once cost Real Madrid the earth, they
paid big money for what seemed like a future star. Look at him
now, struggling to force Emile Heskey out of the Liverpool team.
Anyway they have won the lot, France, and they use a formation
featuring the defensive midfield pairing of Patrick Vieira and
Emmanuel Petit, with the magnificent Zinedine Zidane the main
source of inspiration. No Robert Pires this time, he's injured,
but pacy and scory Thierry Henry and David Trezeguet are where
the goals will come from. Don't be surprised if they win again.
Be disappointed, sure, but expect great things from 'em. God
don't they make you envious?
Japan
They love their football,
this lot.
Would you stand for this
nonsense blocking your view?
Will the real Japan please stand up? First at
the Confederations Cup they get to the Final drawing with Brazil
and lose just 1-0 to France. They hold Italy to a 1-1 draw.
Then they play dismally against Senegal and Nigeria, losing
one game and just about drawing the other.
Japan have improved since France '98, getting
stronger and bigger, but still get outmuscled. Coach Phillipe
Troussier does the right thing by sending the players abroad
to get experience and toughen up, but in fact the players don't
get a game because they are not strong enough. Inamoto has hardly
played a game for Arsenal, Ono at Feyenoord has fared little
better.
But they do have Hidetoshi Nakata, now at Parma.
They said he was only signed so his club could sell shirts in
the homeland but oh no! This man is actually a world class link
man and watch out for him. Plus they have a fine sweeper and
captain in Ryuzo Morioka, and even a good keeper in Yoshikatsu
Kawaguchi.
They are at home as well, and their group is easier
than Korea's, so they have a better chance than ever to get
to the knockout stages. Better send their better selves out
to play though because at this level you get punished
Paraguay
Paraguayan heads ball.
Paraguayan runs with ball.
In a nutshell, we don't know where Paraguay is but
they're really good at football. At France '98 France were fortunate
to beat them, and Spain and Bulgaria could not do it. What is
their secret? They don't let many goals in. Just one at the last
World Cup - not bad at that level!
The defence is still together so expect more of
the same. They are older, wiser, rockier, been around the block
a few more times, and now they should be the finished article
and the envy of every coach - solid defensively. Does that mean
expect boring football? Maybe not, they have strikers that score,
like Roque Santa Cruz of 2001's European champions Bayern Munich,
and Jose Saturnino Cardoso, one of Latin America's best strikers.
Tasty!
The midfield is joined now by Carlos Paredes of
Porto, so he can carry water for the flair player, Roberto Acuna
of Real Zaragoza.
And Jose Luis Chilavert, the captain and goalie.
What a guy. He scores goals, and stops them as well! Free-kicks,
penalties, no problem for the big man. He's their second top goalscorer,
and off the pitch he beats up journalists! He can pass a ball
well, what next from the larger-than-life type? I hear he's going
to play blindfold this time and said if he doesn't lift the World
Cup this time, he's going to eat the goalposts! Well maybe I made
that bit up but maybe I didn't!
A good team is Paraguay...they beat Brazil recently,
and drew with the awesome Argentina twice in the qualifiers after
outplaying them on both occasions. Even though they lost 4-0 to
England recently, they can not be dismissed and watch out for
them, they are coming.
Poland
Poland strolled to qualify for this World Cup, surprising
even themselves, spearheded by a Nigeria-born striker playing
his club football in Greece. He looks so funny in a Poland kit.
Poland has migrants, not immigrants, so it looks a bit cheeky
of them to feature this player. Anyway I'm sure it's all legal
and everything. And how he is the man. Emmanuel Olisadebe scores
and scores for Poland, and we'll soon see the reason Poland qualified
this time. Try not to laugh, after you get over the look of him,
you come to regard him as a footballing threat.
Another key man is their coach, Engel, and he seems
to have turned things around over there in Eastern Europe. A humble
and hardy type, understated but effective.
It's been a long time, Poland seemed like furniture
at the World Cup not too long ago, they came third in '82 but
check the records, it's been 16 years you know! Their fortunes
have declined a bit, so now they are just glad to be here. (And
please don't write in telling me that's patronising, 'cause it's
not!) Poland lost 2-0 at home to Japan recently, which must have
ben a bit depressing for them.
They've got Olisadebe though. He follows in the
footsteps of the likes of Zbigniew Boniek who used to play for
Juventus, not just that but the Italians really rated him and
remember him well. At the back they have the Schalke 04 pair of
Tomasz Waldoch and Tomasz Hajto, who seem to have things sewn
up back there. They'll break a few hearts in Korea this summer,
especially with the magnificent Jerzy Dudek of Liverpool behind
them. What a keeper! How did he get so good? He's a star and he
deserves to be - unlike Victoria Beckham!
All they need to do is feed the goat and he will
score. Give Olisadebe a chance and he will hurt the likes of Korea
& USA, so if Piotr Swierczewski and Marek Kozminski of Marseille
& Brescia do that, they could get a result or two.
Anyway, we have to cheer South Korea don't we, otherwise
they'll revoke our visas. We mustn't support Poland, unless we're
in a naughty mood.
Portugal
There he is get his autograph!
Oh no, it's just a poster. Come on Luis show us yer class!
Portugal, we love you, thank you for being so brilliant
and over here! They topped a difficult qualifying group and didn't
lose a game, including a 2-0 win away to Holland. This is through
playing the game the way it should be played, with style, grace
and panache. They attack creatively, harnessing the midfield talents
of World Footballer of the Year Luis Figo, plus Manuel Rui Costa,
either of whom could grace any side.
Coach Oliveira puts out an attacking 4-4-2 formation
with just one defensive anchor, Armando Petit. The left wing belongs
to Figo, the right wing to Sergio Conceicao, and the attacking
nous down the middle from Rui Costa. But it's not so set in stone.
All three swap around so fluidly, other defences just get bewildered.
Does anyone remember Euro 2000, where guns and bluster from England
created a 2-0 lead against the Portugese, who then spent the next
hour taking the English apart and winning 3-2. You just had to
admire how special this side was, and is. Up front they are no
slouches either, with the clever Joao Pinto giving chances and
goals on a plate to either Pauleta or Nuno Gomes.
Nuno Gomes - the most handsome footballer there
is. Korean girls are going to go crazy for him, you watch.
Where did this classy bunch of legends come from
though? Aren't Portugal supposed to be a poor side? Over the past
generation their best ever is 3rd place at Euro '84. Where did
they go right? They focused on building a great youth side in
the 80s: Luis Figo, Rui Costa, Joao Pinto, Victor Baia and Fernando
Couto were all around when Portugal won the under-21 World Championships
in 1989 and 1991. They have got better and better since then,
reaching the quarter-finals at Euro 96 and the semi-finals at
Euro 2000 where they were unlucky to lose to France in a fantastic
contest. Here they are now anyway, all grown up and peaking, the
Golden Generation, great things is expected of them and they are
an outside bet to win this World Cup.
South Africa
South Africa - tickets are selling slow for them!
Maybe the organisers'll give the tickets to schoolchildren to
fill up the ground!
Last time round they qualified for the tournament,
and then when they got there they just seemed to focus on enjoying
a nice holiday in Europe. What was that about? Hopefully they'll
try this time. They qualified in style, winning game after game,
so they have got a bit of strength. A few good strikers too, like
Sibusiso Zuma, Benni McCarthy and Siyabonga Nomvete. These are
not Champions League class acts, but are solid enough if not spectacular.
Shaun Bartlett too, the fox-in-the-box, and Radebe
and Fish of the English Premier League if they play, will help
the cause, and they might just reach the second round if they're
intothat sort of thing.
See they have it in them. They drew with the high
and mighty France recently, but then lost 3-0 to Sweden, who are
no slouches, but results like that make coaches worry, which Carlos
Quieroz is. His team is well-organised, but just not that good.
Especially in midfield, where games and fortunes are won and lost.
which could prove costly in the Far East. Last time round they
just seemed to score loads of own goals, which aren't too pleasing.
They have some players, they could do better this time, then they
just as easily may do just the same and come home early. Anyway
I'm sure they're all lovely people.
South Korea
The first ever arty football
photograph taken in Korea.
They're all having a sing-a-long.
Hopefully it's not Queen.
Korean birds promoting
the World Cup. Look, there's a little football on their
chest.
Normally, host nations do well in World Cups, but
with Korea it might be more like USA in '94 than France in '98.
Hiddink's mission is to get out of the group and as far as the
knockout stages; he will think he has died and gone to heaven
if Korea reaches the quarter finals. The reason his dreams are
so minimalist is the past record of Korea in World Cups: in five
previous attempts, Korea has never won a World Cup game.
However Korea has a few players that can turn it
on a bit. Hong Myong-Bo is half decent and has been for a decade;
Ahn Jung-Hwan plays for Perugia and does the business there from
time to time; and defenders Song Chong-Guk & Lee Chun-Soo
stand out.
Hiddink is opting for a World Cup formation of 3-4-3,
which is noble of him, he obviously wants to either win or lose
in style, which I admire a lot of him. If Korea doesn't win a
game, then they will have entertained. Forward-thinking is that:
if they play to attack and entertain they'll win a lot of friends.
Even though Korea is so far away from everywhere that they'll
have to be pen-friends.
The defensive problems are being addressed. The
5-0 hiding they took off the Czech Republic at home hurt. Now
they use three at the back, brave, but notably their players are
pacy so it's all about counter-attack these days. Clever move.
Teams will come at Korea expecting to bank points; best soak that
up and hit them on the break. (That'll teach 'em to come to Busan
asking questions...!)
Still, it's about results as well. Their run-in
has been respectable, even if they couldn't beat China, but they
did overwhelm Costa Rica too. Home advantage should count for
a lot, and they have a great chance of climbing out of their group.
Surely they will get their precious first win. Korea at home in
the World Cup can take Poland; they can also do the US; Portugal
not normally, but if Portugal have already qualified by the the
time they play Korea then they may play their second string, who
Korea could pick up a point against. The points are for the taking,
Korea! Actually, where's the betting office? I'm putting my money
where my mouth is, Korea will climb out of this group. Do it Korea,
we all wish you well! For more Team Korea, check out the special
Korean Angle Section.
Uruguay
The Uruguayans are coming.
Expect a lot of fun!
In the early days, when we were fighting world wars,
the small South American country of Uruguay was busy winning World
Cups. Now their name is engraved on the ultimate sporting hall
of fame: twice winners of the World Cup.
They hosted and won the first one in 1930, and won
it again in 1950 when they beat hosts Brazil 2-1 in their own
back yard. Quite an upset it was too at the time. No-one remembers
this now but it was.
Recently (post 1950) Uruguayan football has stepped
down and let Italy, Brazil, England, Germany, Argentina and France
win all the World Cups, but it's a cynical game these days, not
like the old days when everyone was a gentleman and teams said
sorry for winning. (You can see the early English influence in
the sport.) Uruguay later spotted how successful dirty teams could
be and attempted to catch up in the 80s, with some displays using
record high levels of gamesmanship and sneaky violence the likes
of which football has never seen but by then it was too late,
they'd lost the touch! Still they are well remembered and their
name is engraved on the trophy forever, no-one can take that away
from them. They are in the club of past winners, no matter where
they are at now. And they regularly telex supposed quality outfits
like Spain, Portugal and Holland just to say "Nur-nur-nurny-nur!"
Those Uruguayans...!
It is twelve years since Enzo Francescoli's collection
of ex-convicts appeared at Mexico '86 but they are well remembered.
Keep an eye on them, they are fun. And now they are back. They're
half decent this time too, they killed of Australia's challenge
on the way, winning 3-0 in Montevideo, and they have a few stars.
Captain Paolo Montero is big in Juventus and has
ben for four years now. He gets loads of red and yellow cards,
so he fits in well, but he can play a bit. Fabian Carini is just
22, but he's a brilliant keeper, he flies around th egoal like
some monkey and he might be the best goalie in the world one day.
Then they have the pacy Dario Silva up front. Defenders hate playing
against him. That means he's good. Only a shame that Gustavo Poyet
is a shade too old for all this, he is still a solid performer
in the fast, hurley-burley English Premier League for Spurs, scoring
14 goals from midfield this season when he should be thinking
of more relaxing things, Busan could have used a little of his
personality.
Uruguay are a bit cautious. Few goals scored and
conceded - maybe it's the coach? Under Victor Pua they have cleaned
up their act a bit but not that much! Last year nine players were
jailed for a week after a brawl on the pitch after a local derby!
Those hot-tempered South Americans are on their way, so expect
fun.
USA
Kasey Keller of USA on
a winning side - you may not see this sight again.
The US are here at the World Cup for the fourth
consecutive time. Bruce Arena's team started strongly during the
qualifiers but then started wobbling, finally coming in third
in the Concacaf region after Costa Rica and Mexico. On this campaign
they beat Mexico 2-0, which does look good. But the pressure is
on after three losses in a row, against Mexico, Honduras and Costa
Rica.
Arena's been in the job about four years now, He's
50, he's from Brooklin, he started after USA's sorry France '98,
where his track record in the States is solid and impressive.
University side Virginia won four national titles under him, then
he led MLS side DC United to two league titles, a cup plus an
Interamerican Cup success against Vasco da Gama of Brazil, who
aren't bad.
There are a few familiar names in the squad, like
Claudio Reyna, Jeff Agoos, Brad Friedel and Kasey Keller, and
a few young lads like Landon Donovan and Da Marcus Beasley. What
a name. Only in America. Arena needes to blend that youth to the
experience and maybe the second round is achievable. It's not
impossible, especially as Poland are the opponents. It seems like
a fight between Korea and the US for second place in that group
after Portugal, so the big clash is in Daegu between them both.
Oh, what a conflict of interests for the Americans
over here. They have to support their team, but that means hoping
they defeat their gracious hosts Korea. Knowing Americans, I'm
sure they'll do the gentlemanly thing and cheer for the Koreans.
It's only a game, and Korea has earned such a huge place in the
hearts of each and every American here. I can't wait to see it.
American fan: "I'll hope you win."
Korean fan: "No, I hope YOU win"
American fan: "Let's hope we both win!"
Should be fun. It's amazing though isn't it, that
the States don't dominate world football. I mean, they're the
States! And yet, they might not beat Poland!
FEATURES AND COMMENT
Wait for it, wait for it...
GROUPS A-H
Previewing each group from A ~ H for the first stage
of the tournament, Chris Boughton and Johnny Hotspur gives us
their thoughts and predictions. Of course, they could be wrong,
but chillingly - they could be eerily right...!
Now we're assuming you realize that just the top
two teams from each of the eight groups qualify for the knockout
stage. But you knew that didn't you.
GROUP A: FRANCE, SENEGAL, URUGUAY, DENMARK
FRANCE are current World and European champions
and favourites to lift the Cup come the end of June. They have
world-class quality all over the pitch and should cope without
the injured Robert Pires, 2002 English Player of the Year. They'll
do well, suggests their record.
STAR PLAYER: Zinedine Zidane.
SENEGAL are one of five African qualifiers and seem
to pose little threat in this group. They're big and strong though,
so Japan breathed a huge sigh of relief that they are in another
group. We reckon first round exit.
STAR PLAYER: Elhadji Diouf.
URUGUAY were the last team to qualify for Korea/Japan,
beating the fancied Australia. The fans are a bit hyper and here
they come! They can play a bit too (the team, not the fans, although
they can probably play a bit too) and their squad seems quite
special. Maybe they'll beat France here in Busan? That'd be nice!
STAR PLAYER: Alvaro Recoba.
DENMARK won Euro '92 and then disappeared. They
have the usual mixture of handymen and skill, and it seems as
though it's them or Uruguay who goes through with France. Why
did they play so rubbish at Euro 2000?
STAR PLAYER: Ebbe Sand.
PREDICTION: FRANCE and URUGUAY. It's got to be!
GROUP B: SPAIN, SLOVENIA, PARAGUAY, SOUTH AFRICA
SPAIN have never won the World Cup - surely they
should have though by now. What's keeping them? Are they shy?
Maybe this is their year though - new century and all that - their
domestic league is the best in the world now and the national
squad is brimming with talent. They will certainly have a crack!
And bet your plane ticket home they'll come through the group
stage unscathed. They've got too much Champions League winning
experience to crack up this time, haven't they?
STAR PLAYER: Raul Gonzales.
SLOVENIA were the surprise packet of Euro 2000,
outplaying some big opposition. They've got their work cut out
this time though against the Latin Giants. (Meaning Spain and
Paraguay.) But they have some skill, so maybe they'll lose every
game 4-3 and make loads of friends? Then again no, they're playing
South Africa so they'll at least get three points. Don't confuse
them with Slovakia: it's Slovenia. Did you see that goal Acimovic
scored in the play-offs? A chip from the halfway line? The camera
never got the next bit though: he ran off lifting his shirt up
revealing a t-shirt with the phrase "Shut it, Beckham ya
bitch!" See, they're winning friends already.
STAR PLAYER: Milenko Acimovic.
PARAGUAY almost won loads of friends in the last
World Cup when they almost knocked out France, but they didn't,
and so everyone forgot them. Now they're back, and this time they're
serious, with their solid defence, marshaled by the Brilliant
Goal Scoring Goalkeeper Jose Luis Chilavert. Oh they'll ruffle
a few feathers all right.
STAR PLAYER: Jose Luis Chilavert.
SOUTH AFRICA didn't offer much at France '98. They're
just as bad this time too and if they progress past the group
stages, we at Pusanweb will be amazed. But it's easy to get tickets
for their games, so thanks to them you can always say, "I
was there at the World Cup". So they're good for something
then.
STAR PLAYER: Quinton Fortune.
PREDICTION: SPAIN and PARAGUAY.
GROUP C: BRAZIL, TURKEY, CHINA, COSTA RICA
BRAZIL are full of attacking flair and talent. Of
course they are - they're Brazil! No Romario this time though
but old Ronaldo is fit again and scoring goals for Inter Milan.
That means they stand a chance of going all the way but maybe
not, they were less than impressive during qualification and a
bit weak at the back. (Some things never change do they? You'd
think they'd sort it out but no, defending is below them¡¦)
Still, they've won this thing most times so don't write them off
okay! Write them off at your peril. We're serious.
STAR PLAYER: Rivaldo.
TURKEY are no longer the whipping boys of world
football. In the good old days, teams used to get bored with losing
and invite Turkey over for a good old hiding but those days are
gone. They are dark horses with a point to prove now, and just
watch them put great names to the sword. Most of the squad comes
from club side Galatasaray, so they need no introduction to each
other.
STAR PLAYER: Hakan Sukur.
CHINA is a big country with lots of people, so if
the number of good footballers is proportional to population,
then they'll beat USA in this year's final. Ha, we know better
than that don't we. This their first World Cup, so they're very
excited: perhaps too excited. I reckon they'll get so excited
before their first game, they won't be able to sleep, and then
when the game comes round they'll all be dazed and confused. Oh
those Chinese.
STAR PLAYER: Fan Zhiyi.
COSTA RICA recently lost 2-0 to South Korea, and
never does anything in football so why should things be any different
this time? They might sneak one upset result though, because that
is their role in life - one upset result, lose the rest, go home.
Like in Italia '90 when they beat The Mighty Scotland, the world
has only just got over that one. Thank God for therapy!
STAR PLAYER: Paulo Wanchope.
PREDICTION: BRAZIL and TURKEY.
GROUP D: SOUTH KOREA, POLAND, U.S.A. PORTUGAL
SOUTH KOREA are in an interesting group. They have
home team advantage and the benefit of an adoring and rowdy crowd,
with their drums and weird, long yellow balloons that fold in
half so you can clap them loudly. See every World Cup throws up
a new contribution to football culture: first came the Mexican
Wave, and now the Korean Balloon. They're so inventive! Their
key game is every minute of every game, which comes under scrutiny,
but let's say the master key game is against the USA, which in
advance looks like deciding who goes through with Portugal. We're
all brainwashed here, so we reckon Korea will go through in second
place or shhh¡¦maybe first!
STAR PLAYER: Hong Myung-Bo.
POLAND were recently beaten by Japan at home and
that says it all! They have to do much better than that! This
is a serious game you know, what were they playing at? What a
fantastic goalkeeper though, Dudek. Fantastic. He flies around
that goal breaking opponents' hearts like a great, heartbreaking
eagle. So let's make him the star player.
STAR PLAYER: Jerzy Dudek.
USA can break through to the second stage this World
Cup. Korea stands in their way. But when the USA play old friends
in World Cups, they tend to lose, like last time against Iran.
That means three points for Korea in Daegu then. Except this time
the States have a point to prove. And now they realize the World
Cup is only every four years, so it's no more "Get you back
next year" from them: it's now or never. So expect them to
try really hard. Gosh it's going to be a battle. I have to watch
it.
STAR PLAYER: Landon Donovan.
PORTUGAL are a made of magic, and the world will
not appreciate any upsets that might knock the entertainers out.
Are you listening, Poland, Korea and USA? Well listen! We will
not appreciate, neither will we tolerate, everyone's second favourite
side getting knocked out by the likes of you do you understand?
STAR PLAYER: Luis Figo.
PREDICTION: PORTUGAL and KOREA.
GROUP E: GERMANY, SAUDI ARABIA, REPUBLIC OF IRELAND, CAMEROON
GERMANY struggled to qualify this time around, which
was a bit weird for everyone. This included losing 5-1 at home
to England, which was even rarer. But the Germans are a "well
oiled machine" so it's probably a big old ploy by them to
make everyone think they're rubbish, then they'll sneakily win
the World Cup. Because they plan everything over there in Germany
and hear me you cannot trust them, not at all. I can see their
evil plan so clearly now.
STAR PLAYER: Christian Ziege.
SAUDI ARABIA were at France 98 and are back again.
They'll enjoy the heat, it'll be just like home. Hopefully they
won't get too carried away and bring loads of sand to their hotel
rooms, it's a real nightmare to clean up, sand. On second thoughts
why do I care? I don't have to clear up do I? I keep forgetting,
I'm not a hotel cleaner anymore; I don't do that shit no more!
Anyway they'll be no match for the Irish! They might score some
wonder goal, but their contribution will be to confound and confuse
Korean commentators who will almost certainly get all their names
wrong - brilliant!
STAR PLAYER: Sami Al Jaber.
THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND did brilliantly to qualify
for the 2002 Finals and no mistake. They knocked out Holland!
You see, it's because they are the Fighting Irish and they'll
never surrender to the British, so how they win games is that
the manager tells the players that they are playing England, so
they get all Fighting and Irish and go out and win about 10-0.
And what a legend that Roy Keane is. And Robbie Keane is no slouch
either. They'll do well you watch. Because they have a secret
weapon that no other nation has: no matter how hot or cold it
is, they don't notice. How do they do it? Sure World Cup winners.
STAR PLAYER: Roy Keane.
CAMEROON always qualify for the World Cup, and always
seem to win the African Nations Cup. They always seem poised to
do something brilliant, but the World Cup is cruel: lose a game
and it takes four years to rectify it, and by that time you've
developed a complex and half your players are too old. They could
reach the semi-finals, but against the Irish with their Fight
and the Germans with their Guile, it'll take some extra bullets
to get through. They are the first team to play in sleeveless
shirts, I mean what is this, badminton? But they'll enjoy smashing
the Arabs.
STAR PLAYER: Samuel Eto'o.
PREDICTION: GERMANY and IRELAND.
GROUP F: ARGENTINA, NIGERIA, ENGLAND, SWEDEN
The Group of Death. Any of these players blink on
the pitch and it's all over because these sides will punish you
man. The key game seems to be Argentina v England. It was the
Game of the Tournament last time and we're all excited about it
here now. Because we pick up on what's going on on the pitch,
the game seems to mean that extra bit more to the players. And
then they pick up on what is going on in the stadium, it means
a bit more to the fans, so it all goes round and the game seems
to get bigger and more important each time it's played.
It was bad enough in the Finals in 1966, the England
manager Sir Alf Ramsey ran onto the pitch following the quarter
final with Argentina and stopped his players swapping shirts,
later branding the South Americans "animals" in response
to their conduct on the field. Since the Falklands War in the
early 80s though there has been more and more needle. The meeting
in Mexico in 1986 didn't help, when Diego Maradona punched the
ball in and the goal stood, effectively killing off England's
campaign. He was later caught on film in the dressing room holding
his 'hand' in the air, laughing with his teammates. What a scoundrel!
Most recently was in France '98, when David Beckham was sent off
after tapping an Argentinean player after being clattered from
a wild and reckless lunge. Those Argies did it again! Surely two
yellows would have done? Anyway we're over that now. There's always
next time¡¦
ARGENTINA are favourites to win the cup, the whole
team looks brilliant with their dashing 3-4-3 formation and classy
players in every position. How did they get this good? It just
happened! Expect dazzling things from them. Hard to see them losing
a game, although their path to the final is so full of the best
teams that possibly they'll smash their way to the final then
be so tired they'll lose to Thailand or someone? That'll be the
day.
STAR PLAYER: Claudio Lopez.
NIGERIA can play fantastic attacking football because
they have flair and natural ability. But they're mighty inconsistent
too. Who knows which Nigeria will turn up? Could beat Argentina
because they rise to the occasion with great goals, but will they
have the concentration to do it game after game? Will they find
winning game after game too boring? Will they think putting in
one focused performance after the next below them? Aha¡¦!
STAR PLAYER: Augustine Okocha.
ENGLAND with their young squad look better with
Sven Goran Eriksson at the helm, but what's with all the sudden
injuries? Captain Beckham could be fit after breaking a bone in
his foot but Neville, Dyer and Gerrard are all out: that's the
backbone of the team! They still have European Footballer of the
Year Michael Owen though, and he means goals, so maybe there's
still a chance? And sneaky old Paul Scholes is always good for
a bit of sly damage. And what about Teddy Sheringham! He's 36
you know!
STAR PLAYER: Michael Owen.
SWEDEN don't sound that scary but haven't lost a
game of football for ages. They have crept in there after a bad
Euro 2000 and now have Ljungberg playing great and Henrik Larsson
with his dreadlocks and goals. They are just the sort of side
that teams will fatally underestimate, expect to beat, but will
shock everyone.
STAR PLAYER: Freddie Ljungberg.
PREDICTION: ARGENTINA and ENGLAND.
GROUP G: ITALY, ECUADOR, CROATIA, MEXICO
ITALY can win it. With a squad like they have, they
have every chance, plus they are in the "easy" half
of the draw, so maybe an outside bet? I am! Solid defence, great
strikers, business as usual. When will the world catch on?
STAR PLAYER: Fabio Cannavaro.
ECUADOR thrilled their home supporters by making
to Korea & Japan. They may just surprise you because they
were great on the road here. Where is it though?
STAR PLAYER: Agustin Delgado.
CROATIA finished 3rd in the last World Cup, isn't
that amazing! Surely they won't do it again though. Did you know
that the Croatian word for Croatia is "Hrvatsko"? Sounds
nice doesn't it. (Actually I might be wrong about that, but it's
not far off.)
STAR PLAYER: Alen Boksic.
MEXICO are a nice team that broke Korea's hearts
in France '98 before eventually going out. They are good but not
that good, so will go far but not that far. Nice green shirts.
Everyone seems to like Mexico. Maybe they're really nice.
STAR PLAYER: Cuauhtemoc Blanco.
PREDICTION: ITALY and CROATIA.
GROUP H: JAPAN, BELGIUM, RUSSIA, TUNISIA
JAPAN have a great chance to progress. They are
at home, which is always nice, and their group is so easy. If
Group F is the Group of Death what is this? The Group of Tea and
Sandwiches?
STAR PLAYER: Hidetoshi Nakata.
BELGIUM have to perform better than at Euro 2000,
where they were the co-hosts but still got nowhere. They knocked
the Czech Republic out in the play-offs, so thanks for that Belgium.
The Czechs would have made it more interesting but now we've got
to watch you instead.
STAR PLAYER: Emile Mpenza.
RUSSIA were absentees at the last world Cup so will
be keen to perform well this time, and have a decent chance of
progressing, especially in this group. I wish Belgium weren't
around.
STAR PLAYER: Viktor Onopko.
TUNISIA were swept aside at France 98 and will surely
suffer again, even though this group is so easy. See it's the
Group of Tea and Sandwiches but do they like sandwiches? Maybe
they prefer Death!
STAR PLAYER: Adel Sellimi.
PREDICTION: JAPAN and RUSSIA.
RISING STARS
Wait for it, wait for it...
This guide was created and is maintained by Johnny
Hotspur.
Send info and questions to John (with WORLDCUP in the Title Bar)
at [email protected]