At 3am on Feb. 25th, about 40 hours after returning from Thailand, I 
awoke with an insatiable desire to SCRATCH my leg.  It was farging 
brutal.  Generally, I pride myself on abstaining from scratching things 
such as mosquito bites and even bites, although the latter sometimes do 
get the better of me.  In short, I'm not a scratcher. 

But this urge was something different.  It had hold of my whole body.  I 
couldn't NOT scratch!! A few minutes after awakening with the affliction 
and switching on the light it was apparent I'd already been scratching 
in my sleep.  But even scratching didn't help - it made it worse. 
What's more, the itchy area seemed to be spreading!  I was even starting 
to groan because it itched SO MUCH ... and as I did so, I thought, holy 
moly, I'm like a beast here, scratching out of control and making wild 
noises.  Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!  I went to the bathroom and ran cold water 
over my legs. 

That eased the itching a bit.  But after a while I had to scratch again. 
What the hell was going on?  Eventually, summonsing all my willpower, I 
was able to get back to sleep.  In the morning I awoke with the urge to 
scratch my neck.  My face felt funny too.  In the bathroom mirror, a 
swollen red face looked back at me.  Hmmmm .... I wasn't feeling 
particularly embarrassed, nor was I sunburned.  There was something 
nastily mysterious at work here. 

My legs were burning; begging me to run my fingernails rapidly across 
them.  At this time of the day,  having more wherewithall and ambition 
than the night before, I refused to give in to the bitchy itchy. But 
then I felt something weird on my back.  What the hell was that? 
Stripped of those soft, comfortable flannel pyjamas, the sight was 
scary.  My back was doing a good impression of a  field of strawberries. 
Blotches of red everywhere.  It was weird and it got got even weirder 
because as the welts on my back surfaced, the ones on my legs 
disappeared and as the itch would take over my arms, for example, the 
red on my stomach would recede. 

The itch reaction was so strong that I reckoned it must have been an 
allergic reaction to something.  A mental inventory of the previous 
day's consumption revealed nothing out of the ordinary.  Maybe, then, it 
was something I'd eaten or encountered while in Thailand. 

Clothes seemed to amplify the itchiness so  I walked around the 
apartment nude most of that day.  That felt better, even though it was a 
bit chilly.  I figured, hey, I'd rather be chilly than have to deal with 
the full force of THE ITCH!  I didn't go to the doctor that day, hoping 
that the itch would pass on its own.  But that night I couldn't get to 
sleep because of "the urge."  I got up and ran ice across the most 
seriously affected areas; this time my legs, toes and arms.  In this 
frustrated state I vowed to go to the doctor the next morning. 

At 7am my face was a bright red beet, my back a strawberry patch, my 
legs raspberry bushes and  my stomach a big red apple.  Into the Pansong 
Medical Clinic I went.  I wondered if the one nurse who spoke English 
would be there.  She was - whew.  She escorted me to the doctor's 
office.  They checked me out, gasped, and chattered on in Korean for 
about 3 minutes.  Wondering what the hell they were saying, I made a 
mental note to study Korean for longer amounts of time on a more regular 
basis. 

The doctor wasn't quite sure what it was but he gave me a needle. 
Immediately the itching eased.  The nurse said the needle was an 
antihistamine.  They gave me 8 packages to take 4 times a day for the 
next two days.    In each were 2 pink pills, 3 green ones and a black 
one; actually a visually pleasing assortment; but I didn't  know exactly 
what they were.  Anyhow, I followed doctor's orders (translated by the 
nurse, of course). 

During the following two days, the itching would start without warning, 
on various and unpredictable parts of my anatomy for no apparent reason. 
All of a sudden, I'd be voraciously itchy on my back; the next time, it 
would start on my butt; the next time on my neck.   At these times, I 
would pop a package and the itchy bitchy would stop.  Of course, I 
monitored what I was doing, eating, and wearing just before the monster 
returned.  No pattern emerged.

One experience during those next two days will never leave my memory. 
I'd taken a package of pills before departing for Haeundae.  No problem 
- I accomplished my mission in Haeundae and the itching remained at bay. 
It's a good thing as I'd forgotten to bring extra pills with me just in 
case. 

On the way home, however, sitting on a crowded bus, and grateful to have 
gotten a seat, my feet started itching beyond control.  Inside my shoes, 
I wiggled my toes against one another and against the leather of my 
faithful Doc Martins, trying to create enough friction to ease the itch. 
Unsuccessfully.  It was thoroughly agonizing.  My toes were SO ITCHY, if 
someone had offered to chop them off, I'd have said "YES PLEASE!!"  It 
took all my gumption to not take off my shoes and socks right there and 
then, in the midst of a crowded bus of Koreans. 

Now you have to understand the bus scene.  There's no disguising your 
foreign identity anywhere in this city but least of all on a jam-packed 
vessel.  You're larger than average size, with hair and eyes lighter 
than everyone else's, different clothes, wider eyes, etc.  You're a 
freak from the word "go."  People constantly stare.  Simply by being 
normal, you're an oddity.  So, I was thinking, woah, if I take my socks 
and shoes off, start itching and groaning like a wildebeast, it's going 
to be a full-fledged freak show. 

Had I been in Canada, I would have done it and gladly incurred the looks 
of disbelief and disgust because my toes were SO FARGING ITCHY!!!  The 
itchiness consumed my whole being.  Sitting there on the bus, I wanted 
to say to one of those Koreans who kept looking at me, "Don't just stand 
there and stare - scratch my toes!!!" 

I thought of sticking my pen in there and trying to scratch my toes but 
no ... even a pen wouldn't reach.  I'd still have to take off my shoes. 
No, I couldn't uncover my feet and and scratch.  Not here.  So I 
continued to wiggle and wiggle my toes inside the shoes.  It was pure 
torture.  I was starting to breathe deeply and had to suppress groans of 
itch agony.  Somehow I endured that 40-minute bus ride, which seemed 
more like a 40-hour stint in a torture chamber.  HIDEOUS, it was!!! 

When I got off the bus in Pansong, I ran hard, pounding my feet on the 
pavement to create at least a bit of friction on my feet.  I was just so 
glad to be off the bus and able to do something with my feet other than 
wish they weren't attached to my body.  I ran straight to the Pansong 
Medical Clinic.  The English-speaking nurse thought it funny that I 
couldn't stand still; that I was stomping my feet and looking at her 
with such intense desperation.  She said they could do nothing for me at 
the clinic and advised me to see a dermatologist.   I was convinced that 
it was an allergic reaction and didn't see what a dermatologist could do 
for me.  But then, what did I know?  Anyhow, I ran home, pounding those 
Doc Martins mercilessly the whole way.

At home I scarfed down the second-last package of pills.  And in about 
10 minutes ... aaahhhhh .... sweet relief.  That night, while playing on 
the computer with Liane and Jeff, I said, "AHHHHHHhhhhhh ... I can't 
take it anymore ...  I have to scratch!!!!"  They didn't know what I was 
talking about.  I had mentioned that I'd had an itch and gotten 
medication for it but they didn't know the extent of the problem.  So I 
showed them my back.  They said, "You have to get help - tomorrow." 
Luckily, a dermatologist had recently advertised on Pusan Web.  Jeff 
said Dr. Choi spoke very good English and sounded like a good guy over 
the phone. 

I had one last package of colourful pills to see me through the night. 
The next morning, "the itch" resumed with a vengeance.  I made tracks to 
Dr. Choi's office.

Don't get the impression that getting there was an easy task. 
Beforehand, I called the office for directions.  The secretary answered 
the phone in the most pleasant Korean manner, but could speak only 2 
words of English: wait please.  After about 10 minutes, Dr. Choi came on 
the line.  He spoke really good English and didn't seem to mind taking 
the time to help out a foreigner.  Thank goodness.  He gave me 
directions to his office.  That in itself took 10 minutes.  Here in 
Pusan, you can't just give an address because there are no street names 
or street numbers.  So, to get accurate directions, basically you have 
to record a mini-novel. 

I took the bus he'd recommended but wasn't sure where to get off.  When 
I finally did get off, I asked a few people where this particular 
building was but neither they nor I had any idea of where the hell it 
was or what it looked like or what it was near.  Feeling helpless, I 
hailed a cab.  Thankfully the driver spoke some English.  If it weren't 
for the cab drivers in this city, we foreigners would be totally up the 
creek without a paddle.  He got me pretty close and pointed in the 
direction I should walk.  I searched for only a short time before 
locating the office. 

The office was full on this Saturday afternoon but people went through 
quickly and I was soon face-to-face with Dr. Choi.  He was a really good 
guy.  I gave him the scoop on the last few days as well as the trip to 
Thailand.  He said it sounded like a disease called "Utucaliu." 

I thought he was saying "Earth Carrier" because the Korean language does 
not include the "th" or the "r" sound.  The "r" sound is ignored at the 
end of words and the "th" sound is generally not enunciated at all or 
comes out as "ss". "L" and "r" are interchangeable.  So I thought, "It's 
a disease called Earth Carrier".  It even seemed logical .  I'd been 
traveling about the earth, from Canada to Korea to Thailand to Korea. 
I figured I must have picked up something in Thailand.  So I wrote down 
on a piece of paper, "Earth Carrier"  He said "No.  Utucaliu" and went 
on to explain it.   His description of the disease matched my symptoms. 
He said it was a strange disease in that it would appear unpredictably, 
for no apparent reason, on different areas of the body.  There was no 
pattern with regard to where and when it manifests itself; it would 
suddenly disappear from one area and perhaps soon appear elsewhere on 
the body.  Yep, he seemed to have it pin-pointed.  Then he gave me an 
English medical manual and pointed to "Urticaria."  Ohhhhh ... 
Urticaria!  He was saying it after all!  Ha - Earth Carrier - not. 

Dr. Choi gave me time to read about the disease while he saw another 
patient.  I was again grateful to be able to read about the disease in 
English.  The pictures were identical to what was on my body; the 
descriptions exactly what I'd experienced.  The book said this disease 
was usually onset by the ingestion of a substance foreign to the body 
that disturbs the body's chemical balance.   It could, however, also be 
instigated by exposure to extreme temperatures.  I asked him about this, 
explaining that it had been very hot in Thailand (30+ degrees celsius on 
most days).  So maybe that's what had started it.  But he said, "No." 
Had the itching begun the day I returned to Korea he would have held
that as a strong possibility.  But given that the itching began a day 
and a half after coming back, he concluded that it was something I'd 
eaten or drunk since coming back to Korea.  The manual said that 17-23% 
of the population gets Urticaria at some point in their life.  I don't 
know about that  because anyone I've told about this has never heard of 
it, let alone contracted it. 

Dr. Choi gave me medication to take for the next 10 days.  Since then, 
the disease has not returned so I hope it's gone for good.  He said that 
if it's treated in the acute stage, i.e., during the first 6 weeks of 
contraction, it can be successfully treated.  But if a person does not 
receive treatment in those first 6 weeks, Urticaria becomes malignant. 
Can you imagine that - going through your life and all of a sudden going 
crazy with the urge to itch?  I wouldn't wish that on anyone.  Why? 
Because it's a BITCH of an ITCH.