We've located the Vinh Long bus station with a bus leaving to Sa Dec every half hour. We've decided to enjoy a cup of Ca Phe Sua by the water only to be bombarded with some terrible live band whose singer is just an octave below that of the tune of feline copulation.

Another bus ride done, it dropped us on the outskirts of Sa Dec where innumerable locals greeted us with friendly waves and smiles. We walked a few clicks with the trusty "Planet" in hand and finally located our hotel. The sweat is pouring; Alison is reduced to her underwear although I'm still basting in my combat fatigues. Back at the hotel after a harrowing 3 hour tour around Sa Dec. Alicat was on a mission to find the floral nurseries but to no avail. We meandered through Vietnamese suburbia, bought a jug of water and a deck of Viet smokes. I'll pick up a pack for Nolan and Daniel too maybe. Soon I'll again have to muster the energy for a food excursion of bread and mini bananas today. My foot is increasingly bothersome, particularly when I'm carrying my big pack. I hope it'll just go away rather than get worse. However, I can't afford to limp my way, all the way north.

Well, we made our way out again. On the street we dined on very real and fresh spring rolls (cha gio) for Alison and cha gio chay (vegetarian) for me. We found a cyclo and made our way to the nursery although Alicat was a little disappointed, as many of them weren't in bloom. The ride out and back was nothing short of spectacular beautiful shrubbery and trees. Of course many smiling faces and friendly waves. One 3-year-old girl chased us, laughing and clapping all the while. Suffice it to say, we made her day. A group of kids rode their bikes alongside us and chatted away of course on a rudimentary level exchange of onomatopoeia in the form of "moo" and "quack". Upon our return we gave our cyclo driver twice that of what he charged, it was a long and very bumpy ride; he deserved much more.

We stopped for more cha gio and trai dua (coconut) and headed into the hotel. Tired and sweaty as usual, we opened our cell door to find the apples Alison bought earlier had been violated by some unknown vermin (Note: Alison reiterates the use of "large incisors") Alison now wields a spear from our room in order to skewer the little bastard at first contact. Why is there a bamboo spear in this room? For this purpose alone is my only guess. Not that we don't love Mother Nature and all she has to offer. Hell, we are pretty outdoorsy kinda girls, but shit man, we like that, well, outside. So yes, indeed we've rented our own private ecosystem at $8 a night. Condemned to the torture of sleeping with the florescent "fashion lite" on with one eye open, darting around at any sound and movement. Yes, this is rat country and indeed I'm getting the Fear again. The night is saturated with the bitter flavours of evil and foreboding as we prepare for rodent rampage and catatonic twitchings. Again, Allah be merciful...

Ack! The end is near!! Alison is now beating the wall with the spear while twitching and jabbering madly about mosquito nets as our only means of defence. Luckily the sinister scratching and ghastly gnawing is coming from her side of the room. Ho Ho! With a sideways glance I fear invasion. I better divide the room with tape. No way I can sleep with these rabid rats and equally madwoman wielding a harpoon. She says she'll provide protection, but I'm starting to wonder just what animal I need protection from. (This is a Clan of the Cave Bear moment). The mosquito net alas, is my only hope. But what nefarious arachnid might lie in the net box.... what indeed?

Well, after a harrowing and sleepless night, we've made our way to a bus station again. All night Alison was up spearing the walls, and screaming like a banshee with every surly squeak seeping from that rotten wainscoting. She alerted me to a rodent in the john at about 5 AM. It had its way with my soap and toothbrush, and then had the balls to violate my backpack and camera case. Luckily I've got a travel patch for my pack to sew on. So with less that 2 hours sleep, covered in what could be bed bug bites and Alison's never ending attempt to hunt for Rat-ke-bob, I was ready to tear a piece off the desk clerk. I'm sure the poor thing was alarmed when these raving women came down wielding a piece of paper with a rat drawn on it while screaming...."I won't pay!" Luckily a woman who spoke English drove my point home. My pack was $150; this bastion of Bubonic plague was $8.

My not so chipper this morning attitude irritated my companion, but I'm not feeling like a big bowl of sugar coated sunshine this morning (or any morning for that matter). We're waiting to take a minibus (actually a Datsun pickup with benches and a covered roof) to Vam Cong where we will connect with another to Chao Doc and the Cambodian border. Indeed, this might not be the safest manoeuvre, but certainly nothing short of adventure is promised.

Well, after a two and a half hour wait for not one other rider, our Datsun driver dropped us across the river from Vam Cong. We ferried across and took a couple of Hondas to Long Xuyen where we connected roadside with a heat wagon to Chau Doc. Finally we arrived to a nice hotel for a change only to find out Bu Chac is 100 km away!! So I guess we'll go to Sam Mountain for a stroll instead. I'm a little disappointed but oh well. Moral is up, we've got a place and a plan this time.

Well, plans change don't they. Alicat was feeling like shit on a stick after our tour to Chao Doc. She didn't feel like doing anything but sleeping so I did end up at the Skull Pagoda in Bu Chac. On the motorcycle, it was a wonderful view into Cambodia. Riding through Khmer villages, tea with a couple of Mahayana Buddhist monks, and pictures of the killing field horrors, so grotesque, Stephen King would be shocked. But nothing could compare to the pile of bones and skulls. In the killing fields themselves, people were busy at work; I snapped a picture and realized that mound was actually a half decomposed dog. What a freaky deeky place.

We left around sunset for a difficult ride in the dark. Dodging vagrant cattle, children and cars with no helmets at 100 kph. Luckily I had some glasses as I was literally picking bugs out of my teeth when I got back. Alison was a little concerned about my personal safety but I arrived 15 minutes ahead of time. All in all, it was a cool solo mission; at least I got lots of pics to share with her.

Now to embark on a mission to Can Tho. I managed to log in at least 10 hours of much needed and deserved sleep. I say goodbye to another hotel room complete with Robbie Williams and MTV. Whodda thunk that MTV existed along the regions of Pol Pot massacre…any correlation…hmmmm.

Here we are in Can Tho, after a relaxing 3 hour drive in the luxury of an air-conditioned minibus. Raving hunger has taken over as our quasi-Papillion diet of baguette and water has been complimented only by dried bananas, papayas and mangos. I saw a number of coffee houses, so I think we’ll go percolate while we deliberate.

I rest my beaten body for an instant only to be interrupted by the cleaning lady and her henchmen who appear to be disabling the air conditioner (we paid for the fan only). I wonder if they think we’d steal cold air? Frankly the fan hits the spot.

We are now seated at the Me Kong Restaurant famous with foreigners and here since ’65. Alison is dining on veggies and tofu and I’m braving the curried cobra. Delicious yet tenacious. We’ve asked for seconds on the Sinh to Khom (pineapple shakes)…ahhhh.

This ophidian is by far the most interesting food I’ve eaten since the freshly axed, still squirming squid tentacles in Korea. There has to be something said for eating another creature at the top of the food chain. I suppose I didn’t claw my way to the top to be a vegan, but after months of meatlessness, I’m feeling the carnivore inside.

We’ve chartered a launch to the floating market for 6 AM. My companion is threatening me with various nefarious methods of rousing my sorry ass out of bed. She has indeed come to realize I am not a morning person. After dinner this evening we walked to the waterfront park complete with a giant Wizard of Ozzish tin Ho Chi Minh. We had another cup of Caphe Sua and lounged and chatted as girls do for a spell.

Made our way back to the Hau Giang A Hotel, bought some shampoo while we searched for tacky trinkets. I’m desperate for the neon strobing Buddhas complete with peeler lights. We visited a temple and listened in on some Buddhist hymns. Now getting set for a shower, a good de Beauvoir session and hopefully a good sleep.

My companion is now searching frantically for explanations to her current illness. I’m thinking common cold; she has leanings towards Dengue Fever. Now she’s scouring the Lonely Planet and telling me this is no laughing matter, as indeed she could be dying before my very eyes. Indeed, but she’s not gurgling and sputtering just yet. Meningicoccal Meninngitis, scatch, AIDS, scratch, Japanese Encephalitis, scratch…Malaria, Typhoid, and here we go back to the Dengue Scare. All I can do is stoically reassure her that she doesn’t appear to be jaundiced. She counts the strange spots (I see none) on her ankles convinced she’s got the Dengue. I tell her not to worry but do let me know if your eyes start bleeding. She resigns herself to ignore these symptoms of impending demise and relish her last days here. On continent or in life? She’s got the Fear all right. If she doesn’t make it through the night, at least I can sleep soundly she says. She has bestowed her watch and Silverfoot to me as her final bequeath. Hopefully I can ring those Oakley’s out of her cold, dead fingers….G’nite fair Alison…Now I lay me down to sleep….

Almost 9 o’clock in the morning. We were up with the magenta sun at 6 AM. The boat ride was relaxing. The floating market was hustle and bustle with great photo ops. My companion is very satisfied as am I. Luckily we had the brains to get our own launch that could weave precariously through the action. We saw a number of tourist boats full of unfortunates who can only remain pensive bystanders from a distance as the water tanks they were on were far to large. Back at the Me Kong Restaurant for a pineapple shake just outside the "conditional air room." Now back to the hotel to grab our packs, head for the bus station to charter a timely carriage back to Saigon.

We’ve taken a minibus for D50k’s, and have now hit a rest stop for a smoke and a cup of joe at the Van Map Café. My tobacco situation is now coming to a bitter end. I chose to bring only a couple of decks, but I’ve only enough to carry me the afternoon. I will have to get some Menthols or brave the Lucky Strikes. In fact I think I’ll buy whatever the national brand is here. Supplies are running low, but morale is still high. Looking forward to the equivalent of a bed. The heat, bus, and a single baguette and tomato have sapped my reserves. One hundred long kilos to go on the national highway. Damn Flies!!!!!!!!Peskier than the urchins with their wares. Indeed, I’m not that hungry, it’s far too hot to think about masticating questionables and/or unidentifiables for the moment…maybe some pineapple.

Back at the Hong Qu Yen Hotel again. Reserved a room for Mr. Suk and Mr. Mun. I’m down to D534K’s, which is maybe about $33 U.S.D. Not bad considering. Made my way through the Delta, did some shopping and spent last week about $167. I’ve still got $320 U.S. but I’ll cash in only 200 and save the rest for my upcoming Australia adventure. Must go and check on tickets for Da Lat tomorrow.

Wow, kick ass! I just found D500K in my money strap wrapped inside my Yankee bucks. Yes, I appear to have capitalized on Communism…gotta love it.

Sitting in the Allez Boo Bar in downtown Saigon, nursing a 333 and licking wounds from a kiss off email from the guy I dig. Salvation in the suds….puff puff, slurp slurp. Found a few trinkets for the gang in Korea. A book lady came along so I was of course pleased to purchase a photocopied version of the Rum Diary. Alison is consoling me over a Pina Colada as we dart our eyes in search of good-looking guys. Plenty, plenty that have chicks in tow anyway.

We’re being infiltrated by merchant sprogs wielding gum and more books. I’m attempting to filch a book for Jessie at a cool D30K’s, but this kid’s got a hate on for me. My companion grabs on for 22! Maybe I should drop the little extortionist and make off with her peddlings into the savage night. Think again…and drink more beer. Snarling internally. 333, a fine can of beer, though generic it has boost and no aftertaste. Tiger was passable, but Saigon was something like Delta water or Labatt’s Blue.

Another brutal day has broken. After a night of lawless debauchery with some new contacts from Amsterdam (hot damn!!), I’m awake with the terrible sun, to embark on a harrowing journey northwards. A Dunhill and java have served to make me feel worse rather than jump-starting my engines. Our Korean friends, Mr. Suk and Mr. Mun are here and busy fingering their airline tickets. They’ll stay on in Saigon for another day and meet us in Hoi An. It’s a long road ahead in the next few days. No longer comforted we aren’t far from civilization. The big city, what a sprawling metropolis it is. I’ll miss it I think.

We did a bit of shopping for the comrades in Korea, including some kick ass opium pipes (not that they’re into that kinda thang, but I thought it novel.) Cash in now running dangerously thin after last evening’s consumer frenzy, and of course the Western Union is closed. Hopefully a timely arrival in Da Lat will ensure a rendezvous with some kind of cash exchange facility. The streets are alive with tourists from all points, heading in all directions, mostly Pnomh Penh. I hope this bus gets here soon, I need some shuteye.

SAVAGE DEBAUCHERY RACK AND PINION SPINAL TAP TUNELESS TROUBADOUR LAWLESS KINDEGARTEN CRIMINALS IN THE MAKING LAWLESS HEATHENS LAWLESS CONSTABULATORY TYPICAL OF 3^RD WORLD HEIRARCHY COMMERCIAL EXPLOITATION

Onward our egg carton on wheels climbs into the coffee country for Da Lat. We’ve stopped at Dien Thoai, which is nothing more than a water station with flea bitten mongrels posing as house pets. Bearing witness to the slash and burn, we once again embark after the radiator receives its much needed water ration. Further we lurch through lush mountain roads gazing at the seemingly pristine valleys below. We’ve been told it’s unsafe to hike, as there are still many landmines yet to be disarmed. Throughout the country, it does get safer every year to venture into the savage wilderness. The national beef stock does a fair job alone of clearing the minefields. Yet I hate to think of Vietnamese culture including random bovines blown to shreds while innocently chewing clover.

Nevertheless, the jungles are a sharp contrast to that of life in the Delta towns. The odd roadside shrine dedicated to those who’ve perished in a condemned bus much like ours I imagine. Gaping rock faces begging to be climbed, flora I’ve never seen and likely won’t again, flit by my weary well travelled eyes. Watching the landscape creep idly by all the while wondering what it must have been like to live here in the Summer of Love…..OH MY GOD…..the scariest arachnid I’ve ever seen just made it’s way from the window onto my bare leg and under the seat. I can only hope the demon spawn crawls back into the pits of hell from whence it came. Now searching for happier "we come in peace" butterflies or something.

We’ve arrived in Cam Dong province in the Annamite Cordillera. By all appearances, a quaint province complete with respectable sized wooden single-family dwellings each with shrubbery and flowers. Look at all those coffee beans in their yards…I believe I’ve found Shangri-La. Judging by the industry and infrastructure here, life seems more relaxed and comfortable by Western standards than that of a Me Kong rice farmer or angler.

We’re still climbing higher and higher. The universals are sitting right under me and I’m afraid it’s going to launch through the floorboards any minute. Crunch, grind, sputter…Ahhhh, time for a rest stop. 2 pints of Caffeine…STAT. Alison’s going to have lunch but looking at the menu, nothing suits my fancy and I shan’t be extorted at these prices. (Maybe a buck or so…)Yes, we’ve stopped at tourist grand central where my only hope of protection from systematic gouging is to feign abstinence. Hoping and encouraged to find tasty victuals once we get into Da Lat. For now, I’m not all that hungry and I’m enjoying this cup of fresh brew from the fresh beans from the fields over yonder.

I’ve been back at the W.C. where I discovered a couple of monkeys and a large boa constrictor. The monkeys were very interested in my cigarette, but since I don’t endorse youth puffing on packs, I figure I better not give in to the whims of the tree folk inside the cages. There were two Husky pups frolicking in the nearby garden. This display activated the sleeping serpent, which very slowly and eerily raised its head to the top of its chicken wire prison for a better look, and a slithery lick of its retractable jaw. I had a guilty feeling that maybe I should liberate my captive friends, but the nefarious deeds the pensive python is surely capable of, and the monkey’s complete lack of social grace changed my mind. I waved goodbye, the snake stuck his tongue out while the monkeys silently pleaded for freedom.

On to Da Lat, "River of the Lat Tribe". It seems we’ve come to another toll station, but still no sign of when we’ll reach our destination. My ass cheeks fell asleep 2 hours ago and now we disembark at a waterfall for some photo ops. Winding through the mountain forests, I see several trees on fire, along with various plots on the forest floor. I can only assume this is slash and burn in progress. The bitter irony is a Vietnamese version of the "only you can prevent forest fires" sign. Choking amidst the smoke and sadness as the natural re-gen burns to meaningless dust. The horror.

We’ve reached the town, but the familiar road is closed, so we make our not so merry mission aimlessly through the streets. We left at 7:30; it is now 3:30. Is it reasonable to assume a 300 km drive would take 8 hours? Actually, for Viet Nam, the timing couldn’t be better.

Our hotel is a dream, complete with a wraparound terrace. The city is quiet, easy going, friendly and noticeably hassle free. Unfortunately our trip here was much longer than expected and we are woe to leave such a lovely place first thing in the a.m. Luckily we still had some daylight to play with and made our way to the market square where I purchased some fine ground and whole beans for gifts. Alison followed suit and loaded herself down with candies to boot. We even found cheese at the bakery, so we’ll buy some for the morrow. Now we’re at the Long Hoa restaurant eating soft cheese and baguette, tomato soup and garlic sautéed spinach with rice. Delicious. Alison is at ease with her stomach, figuring she’s clearing the complexion while she cleans out the pipes.

Bummer. Just discovered Da Lat tours include elephant rides, although I’d rather just pet one. Or in fact, grabbing my lone ranger mask and liberating some pachyderms too. Anyway the day is at an end and it’ll be a long’un tomorrow. Up and out for Nha Trang and then the long haul overnight for Hoi An. Good nite dark continent…we love you.

To be continued…