PIFF Report From Homely Planet
tharp42 - Tue, 2007-10-09 18:33
THE FERRYMAN
New Zealand, 2007
Oh lord Jesus Christ on high. This movie was bad. This movie was really really bad. This movie was heinously awful, unforgivably dreadful, a big, runny, worm-infested, mustard-hued steaming pile of feces. It was tedious, grating, cliched, unbelievable, horribly acted, cheesily lighted, and about 95 minutes too long, clocking in at 97.
The Ferryman would fall under the genre of "nautical horror," in that it involves a group of douchebags who get into a yacht and eventually start killing each other. All of the action takes place in the claustrophobic confines of the boat, supposedly adding tension, but rather leaving us begging for the fucking thing to sink.
The lame plot revolves around an ancient knife that gives the bearer the power to take over the body of whomever they stab. Add a patched on bit at the end involving Charon, the ferryman across the River Styx, and you got a whopper of a film. Oooooooooh... scary kids. And when Charon finally does makes his appearance, he looks just like one of the Uruk-hai from The Lord of the Rings. I'm pretty sure they borrowed the costume from Peter Jackson's werehouse in Wellington.
This movie consisted of about an hour a fifteen minutes of nontstop screaming. It was annoying and not at all disturbing, just infantile. I wanted to peel my face off like a strip of fruit leather.
The previous two films I saw involved a Q and A at the end with the director. I'm glad this director was a no show, as he may have been killed. I for one, would relish seeing him cross the river in Charon's boat.
New Zealand, 2007
Oh lord Jesus Christ on high. This movie was bad. This movie was really really bad. This movie was heinously awful, unforgivably dreadful, a big, runny, worm-infested, mustard-hued steaming pile of feces. It was tedious, grating, cliched, unbelievable, horribly acted, cheesily lighted, and about 95 minutes too long, clocking in at 97.
The Ferryman would fall under the genre of "nautical horror," in that it involves a group of douchebags who get into a yacht and eventually start killing each other. All of the action takes place in the claustrophobic confines of the boat, supposedly adding tension, but rather leaving us begging for the fucking thing to sink.
The lame plot revolves around an ancient knife that gives the bearer the power to take over the body of whomever they stab. Add a patched on bit at the end involving Charon, the ferryman across the River Styx, and you got a whopper of a film. Oooooooooh... scary kids. And when Charon finally does makes his appearance, he looks just like one of the Uruk-hai from The Lord of the Rings. I'm pretty sure they borrowed the costume from Peter Jackson's werehouse in Wellington.
This movie consisted of about an hour a fifteen minutes of nontstop screaming. It was annoying and not at all disturbing, just infantile. I wanted to peel my face off like a strip of fruit leather.
The previous two films I saw involved a Q and A at the end with the director. I'm glad this director was a no show, as he may have been killed. I for one, would relish seeing him cross the river in Charon's boat.